tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post8072114035707935375..comments2023-06-18T08:44:48.866-06:00Comments on It Came From the Cabbage Patch: Would you Spy?Lilliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02928083051697477498noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-16880384799030438202008-06-12T23:54:00.000-06:002008-06-12T23:54:00.000-06:00That is a sorry mess. I'm glad this is all I know...That is a sorry mess. I'm glad this is all I know about it. I feel faint. I'm not tricksy enough to ever do anything like that, as Joy would attest. unfortunately I can relate to the craving information. Fortunately Joy has allowed a great deal of openness. That mother's 'friend' is protecting the mother's weakness. Or is it sabotage?Being Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18191598836451286017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-55456310810536515042008-06-08T14:17:00.000-06:002008-06-08T14:17:00.000-06:00I need to make a correction.What I THOUGHT was the...I need to make a correction.<BR/><BR/>What I THOUGHT was the mother spying on the adoptee was really a so-called "friend" of the mother's who had been spying FOR the mother, and then reporting on what the adoptee was up to.<BR/><BR/>Still a very sad situation all around, and teaches us all a valuable lesson about posting anything personal (and identifying) on a public forum.<BR/><BR/>I'm just so sad that the adoptee was just trying to work through reunion angst and her mother was unable to see how hard all this is on us, and chose instead to take the defensive road and close down their reunion.<BR/><BR/>Not good, not good at all.<BR/><BR/>I hope this "friend" is happy with what she accomplished, she all but destroyed a budding reunion between mother and child.<BR/><BR/>Nice.Lilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02928083051697477498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-49223546826511103112008-06-08T05:36:00.000-06:002008-06-08T05:36:00.000-06:00This has all been such a damned mess.I can't belie...This has all been such a damned mess.<BR/>I can't believe it all really.<BR/>But then I can.<BR/>Ya know.<BR/>Just one more happy-happy outcome of adoption.<BR/>yay.<BR/>not.<BR/>UGH.<BR/>Poss. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxPossumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01868324445518687576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-30985086565297711862008-06-06T16:55:00.000-06:002008-06-06T16:55:00.000-06:00Dont know details (and dont think I want to know)....Dont know details (and dont think I want to know). The situations I do know of are enough to make me run fast in the other direction.<BR/><BR/>Totally cool to be defensive. Someone has to stand up for us, no? I feel the same way about moms.<BR/><BR/>Hope your friend manages to find some sort of peace with what was done to her. Sad. Adoption has done enough damage to all of us. Terrible when one or both parties continue the beating.Suz Bednarzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827141425910483683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-88185334482923919552008-06-06T11:37:00.000-06:002008-06-06T11:37:00.000-06:00Hi Suz, Yeah I suppose many members of the triad ...Hi Suz, <BR/><BR/>Yeah I suppose many members of the triad do have to resort to fake personas to try to find a way to be closer to their n-families...I'll admit I've even considered it from time to time.<BR/><BR/>I guess the context in which it was done in this case is what bothers me...not in the spirit of getting closer or trying to understand the other person, but to look for a way to sabotage the relationship and use it against her.<BR/><BR/>I just ge so defensive of my fellow adoptees :)Lilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02928083051697477498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7685337508262430251.post-157743192713626962008-06-06T10:46:00.000-06:002008-06-06T10:46:00.000-06:00Hmmm, spy? No. But sadly I know many who have. I k...Hmmm, spy? No. <BR/><BR/>But sadly I know many who have. I know moms (and adoptees) who made up fake IDS, pretended to be adoptees or moms and buddy up with their missing family members. How sad and powerless they must feel to resort to such measures?<BR/><BR/>Makes me feel ill. How does one ever expect to establish a modicum of trust?<BR/><BR/>That being said, I will admit I regularly view my daughters public photos sites - that she shared with me and gave me permission to view. But that is more like stalking...and she knows I do it.Suz Bednarzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827141425910483683noreply@blogger.com