I love this time of year. I really, really do. A lot of people, and I mean a LOT of people, grumble and groan and complain about the holidays but to me it has always been an exciting time, a time I look forward to. Of course I have people I miss this time of year and most of the time my holiday gatherings don't measure up to the Hollywood standard of what a real family Christmas should be, but nevertheless, I just can't help myself. Something about the snow, the twinkly lights, and yes, even shopping for those crappy toys for the kids just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
I always had a blast helping my mom set up the fake tree and putting out the chintzy old decorations. Some of these things were ancient...and a few have survived still, to this day, like the sweet little Christmas angel (with almost no hair left on her head) who still graces the top of the tree, instead of some flashing tinselly star.
I remember my brothers carefully peeling the tape on their presents to take a peek, and me getting all scared that we would ALL get in trouble for it. They did a lot of things to get in trouble for, fortunately I was not typically included in the punishment.
I remember one year my mom getting my dad a pair of swimming trunks for Christmas, and upon making him try them on, she laughed and laughed so hard she literally peed. My dad was so stoic and Norwegian, but he endured the humiliation for the woman he loved. (and the amusement of the kids, who didn't know which was funnier...dad in the swimsuit or mom pissing herself?)
And now I am making new memories, that hopefully my kids will carry with them into their adult years. I want this time of year to hold the same magic for them as it does for me. So far, I think I've done a pretty ok job. This year they wanted to strap the christmas tree to the roof of the car (ala Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) because they think that's about the funniest thing in the world, so we did, although it wasn't a station wagon but DH's "Barbie Jeep" Kia, affectionately named the Family Truckster.
And yes I miss my mom and dad this time of year. Yes, I miss what I could have had with my original family. But at least for the next few weeks, it's not going to bring me down. Because for all that I have lost, I have so much more in the faces of two little bratlings and a man who has stuck with me through all my bullshit.
So, if you celebrate it, Merry Christmas. If you don't, then happy-whatever-you-do-celebrate or just wishing you happiness if you don't celebrate anything. All in all, I hope everyone is safe, loved, and at peace.
The Christmas Song
Poetry, women, and elections
3 days ago
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