I know I've blogged about this before. But it's a recurring theme in the adoption world, especially from the AP side, that somehow God plays a hand in making adoptions happen. For me, this is kind of a loaded statement. I mean I am a woman of faith; I do believe there is a God and I do believe that he loves all of us, little ol' me included, but I don't want to get any deeper into the whole religion discussion because that would take a mountain of blog posts and I want to keep the focus specifically on adoption. A vast majority of the adoptees I know from the forum and from FB and the blog-o-sphere are nonbelievers. This is something that makes me go hmmmm. Doesn't it seem telling, that so many people who were supposedly put into their adoptive homes because of an act of God, choosing to either walk away or simply don't believe at all? Ask any adoptive parent and I'll bet close to 90% will tell you it was God's will for their lives. Ask any adoptee (at least the ones I have spoken to/read blogs from) and they will say God doesn't exist, or God is an asshole for doing this. Telling. Telling indeed. For me, I don't think God micromanages any of our lives to such an extent. From my understanding of scripture, family (meaning blood) is extremely important, and Jesus never went around convincing pregnant Gentile girls to hand over their babies to his "deserving" Jewish buddies. Christians who truly want to keep to God's word are to care for the orphan AND the widow, and I don't think this can be interpreted as helping themselves TO the widow's little orphan. But that's just me, and I'm not a theologian. This is JUST my opinion, but one I have come to after much contemplation. I don't know. It just seems to me that bringing God into something that can be so painful and traumatizing to a person (adoptee) is downright damaging. To say that God somehow screwed up and put that baby in the wrong tummy is, well, sorry to be mean, but it's stupid and it won't take long for the little adoptee hearing that line of bull to figure out exactly how stinky the bull is. If there is a God, and I think there is, I don't think he would ever purposefully create a child within one woman just so that another woman can come along and take possession of it. I don't think a loving God would intentionally create a situation where two of the three parties are left feeling broken, alone, and full of grief for the rest of their lives. I don't think any adoptive parent, no matter how "deserving," is special enough in God's eyes to allow the to profit from another's pain. No, God doesn't play favorites. Whenever someone tells me that my adoption was God's will, I just smile and nod, knowing they are probably just trying to make me feel better. Although the intent is appreciated, I know better, and after years of hard internal work, I know better. I just hope that more people out there, especially APs, would think long and hard about the ramifications of justifying greed with God.
Living With The Consequences
3 weeks ago