Saturday, November 21, 2009

A little recap

So, I met up with nmom a few days ago.

All I can say It went SO well, we were both SO at ease, and we did a lot of talking. A LOT. I can feel myself being more and more able to open up to her, and vice versa. I don't think we have ever actually been truly just one on one before, so that probably plays a huge role, but...

I was a little newborn infant once. Did you know that? I didn't, well ok I did but I never really felt it or could identify with the newborn me, until after Wednesday night. She told me about the day I was born, how they had to interrupt a parade (yes I am a real show stopper!) and then they took her to the wrong hospital, so she made them take me to the one she wanted to deliver me at.

She told me she never forgot my first cry and how she breathed a huge sigh of relief. And I was such a small baby, and so beautiful, and my dad's father came down there the very next day to see me.

I was NOT unwanted. I WAS loved.

This alone is enough to really help me connect to my birth. I feel so much more real now, so much more, I don't know, valid? More than I ever have in my life.

Another thing that really struck me is the importance that she is putting on me getting my OBC. She had NO idea that it was sealed and unavailable to me, none whatsoever. I even alluded to the forum and the Adoptee Rights work that so many of my fellow adoptees are doing to unseal our records, and she seemed genuinely on board with that. So in a couple weeks I am going to meet her, she is going to accompany me to the courthouse and sign whatever document she needs to sign, and then she is going to let me take her to Ikea. :) She wants to spend the whole day together, just the two of us, doing the things that real moms and daughters do. I can't wait.

There is more, but I need to process a little further.

4 wisecracks:

Anonymous said...

How wonderful. Love having visits like these! I pray this "wall breaking down" openness continues for both of you!!! So glad she is helping you get your OBC. I know how great it feels to have those redeeming "real mom/real daughter" times. With that being said, enjoy your shopping adventure as well! :)

Christina said...

So incredibly happy for you Lillie :)


Cricket said...

Lol..I think I signed in under the wrong id...

Hoping it linked you to this:


Von said...

So glad it went so well and you were 'authenticated' in the best way possible and in a loving way too by the sound of it.Hope it continues to go well and you get your records.Mind you you'll have so much to find out that won't be in the records but your nmum can tell you.

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